Tuesday, September 7, 1999

BELOVED CHOCOLATIER BITES THE BIG ONE



The world mourns the loss of William "Willy" Wonka Framed chocolatier and confectionary wizard. Little is know about this enigmatic candy visionary who gave the world such fantastic creations such as Never melting Ice cream and the everlasting gobstopper but public records show that he was born to parents Wilbur and Wendaline Wokna June 11, 1933. Willy would have never known his mother who died the following year due to an ongoing illness.

Contrary to popular urban legend Wilbur Wonka was not a dentist but A moderately wealthy business owner who owned and operated a small handful of corner drugstores complete with soda fountains. Willy Wonka Attended the Knopf school for boys where according to former classmates he excelled in chemistry and debate. After his father's passing Willy inherited the family business at the age of seventeen and despite the growing popularity of the soda fountains sold the business just a year later.

Not much I's know about Mr. Wonka after this except that he'd show up some years later in our small town of Dahl where hed quickly buy the local corner store on fifth and main and open the candy store that would start and empire.

Mr. Wonka is survived by his business partner Mr. charlie B Bucket and the twelve hundred workers and their families.  Private hard coating and wrapping to proceed tomorrow noon as per the final wish of Mr. Wonka.